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Saturday, April 28, 2007 by Mellie

Springtime is slowly beginning to rouse my slumbering attitude. Little by little, with every lightening flash and new tulip sprout, my body and mind come out of hibernation. I feel renewed. I feel rejuvenated. I feel all sorts of words that start with the prefix re-. *grin*

I'm starting to feel like me again. Or, perhaps, a new and better version of me erupting from the cocoon of winter like a butterfly ready to spread her dewy wings.

Scratch that. I did not just compare myself to a butterfly. How totally cliche.

What I'm trying to say is this...

How does one really know who he or she is unless challenged and allowed the possibility of emotional growth? Without the season of death there would be no season of rebirth. I fully intend to grasp this spring season and hold onto it with all my might, no matter where that might eventually take me.

It might not be the hood of a Buick Regal in the middle of nowhere after a drive-in movie, but who says what comes next isn't equally as wonderful and exciting? Life goes on whether or not you are ready and willing to move with it.

I'm trying to brush away the fear and be ready for it.

Growing up is a bitch.


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In case you were wondering...

Thursday, April 26, 2007 by Mellie


Writer's block is a total bitch.


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Tuesday, April 24, 2007 by Mellie

Long distance D/s relationships... possible or not possible?

Go.

*And yes, this is a lazy post. I'm formulating an opinion on this and will weigh in when thoughts concrete themselves into words.*


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Monday, April 23, 2007 by Mellie

This evening, I have the desire for a long-winded phone conversation. My day is filled with person to person interaction and the nuances have long since faded.

I want to talk on the phone like I'm 16 years old, enraptured in the tone and texture of your voice. I want to listen to you form words and I want to purr for you. I want you to make me drip when I just focus on the sound of your voice.

I've worn out those channels and I miss it. It's too bad I can't have voice comments on my page.


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Spring fever.

Sunday, April 22, 2007 by Mellie

It's 12:30 in the morning and I should be in bed. Work, while it wasn't nearly as long and exhausting as the previous overnight shift at the emergency clinic, was just as emotionally demanding.

Tomorrow is Monday, which means much more to everyone else than it does to me. It's simply another day in a never ending stream of days, each of which seem to come more quickly than the last.

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I still smell like the early morning air, warm and potentially violent, from the walk inside. There are storms in the area but none have seen it fit to visit my precise location. Regardless, weather like this energizes me. I couldn't find my way into the bedroom even if I tried.

A specific lack of sexual activity and the newly tepid weather has brought out a nearly leporid desire in me to rut. I feel like pulling men into alleyways and forcing women by their hair into bathrooms to have my way with them (or let them have their way with me, as it were).

I need it now. Now. Now. My mind is always on sex, it seems. Minor things bring out my inner nymph and I sexualize everything. Licking my lips, tossing my hair out of my face, taking a drink from a straw... I can make everything about sex. If I want to make you want me, you will. Even though that means you'll never be allowed to have me, I want you to want me.

Do you want me now?


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Tuesday, April 17, 2007 by Mellie

How I long for the days when a post was more than one or two sentences long. Unfortunately, today is not going to be the day that cycle is broken. I have the flu. I hate being sick, I hate spending that much time on cool tile floors without a cock involved, I hate not being able to hold anything down.

I. Hate. The. Flu.

Send me love and vegetarian soup.


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R.I.P.

Thursday, April 12, 2007 by Mellie

Rest in Peace, Kurt Vonnegut. You single-handedly introduced me to real writing (my first novel that I chose to read instead of being forced to in school was Slaughterhouse Five). I will forever associate you with freedom of speech - writing what you feel like and not necessarily what everyone else wants to hear.

You've joined your karass in wherever we go after we die. So it goes.


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Monday, April 09, 2007 by Mellie

I sit here, watching the cursor blink blink blinking, while I hope that words will somehow miraculously form themselves and save my mind the trouble of coaxing them out.

I'm not sure what the worst part of writer's block is. Sitting down, staring at a blank screen and not being able to pull anything out of my head hurts me both physically and emotionally. I read other people's words, hoping to gain inspiration, but none comes.

I'm throwing in the towel for this evening. Hopefully when I have more empty time and fewer hiccups I'll be able to produce.


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Saturday, April 07, 2007 by Mellie


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Wednesday, April 04, 2007 by Mellie

You might surmise, from my latest few posts, that I have little to say. That is far from the truth. I in fact have many thoughts bouncing around in my head, but few that are ready go from random thought to the written word.

I'm restless. I'm uncomfortable with life in general, right now. The more things seem to balance out and become more "normal," the larger my tendency is to stand up abruptly and knock over the table. Usually, that desire is healthy and leads to truly greener pastures. Currently, however, it's my own need to make life more interesting by complicating things that is running the show.

I'd be boring if I was on an even keel though, right?

Just for being patient with me, here's one more picture.



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by Mellie


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Squeaky clean.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007 by Mellie

In lieu of an "actual" post, I bring you Bathing With Aine...



I'll post another tomorrow, if you're good.


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Sunday, April 01, 2007 by Mellie

Lately, I feel stress like a noose around my neck. Every tiny thing drops me a bit lower until I'm ready to kick the chair out from underneath my own feet.

I'm not quite sure why my coping mechanisms haven't engaged. I've shopped, I've vented, I'm exercised... nothing seems to help.

I'm just so tired. Tired of having to be everything to everyone else. Tired of pressuring myself to be so perfect. Tired of not having sex. Tired of working 7 days a week.

I'm also physically tired, despite sleeping 13 hours last night. That's one hell of a sleep debt.

I'll be back to my old self soon. Tomorrow is a new day, right?

---

I'm still feeling bitchy, but a good orgasm is the cure for just about anything that ails you. Thank you, Literotica. Most of the writing there is crap, but occasionally I'll stumble upon some gems. Good non-consent writing is few and far between and anyone who finds any should feel free to email it to me. I'd seriously appreciate it.


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about


"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. -- Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken

I'm like that, I'm the untaken road. I walk the path that's filled with jagged rocks, spooky trees and no sunlight - but I come out the other side wiser. It's always worth the price.


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