Lately, the only time I can shut my brain off from all the ugly thoughts is when I'm running. So, needless to say, I've been running a lot. The gym is a home away from home, a place I can go to get away and emerge myself in an acceptable sort of pain.

Putting on those headphones, blaring something loud and aggressive (it's been earlier Dropkick Murphys or Busdriver the past week or so) and just losing myself in the beats and pushing my body a little bit further than it's willing to go each time helps drown out everything that seems to be going wrong lately.

Things are good here, don't get me wrong. It seems as though the older I get the more jaded I become. Finding the happiness and light in things is taking a backseat to my intrinsic need for violence and aggression. I try to temper each, to find a balance, but it still eludes me for the time being.

I just haven't learned to live with it yet.

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Thursday, June 28, 2007.