I have never been a good writer. Sure, I'm creative and I thoroughly enjoy sitting down at the computer and letting my fingers help my emotions come to the surface. God knows I have a hard time manufacturing them on my own. I've never wrote for anyone other than myself though and, thus, I'm not really too concerned with what other people think of me or this site.

Of course I enjoy that you read this. It helps me to know that people are coming on this journey with me. I just can't write for you; it would make me dishonest if I was catering to the people who wander in and out of my online life.

Knowing all that, it makes me want to rip my hair out that I edit and edit before publishing. Why am I so concerned with finding the perfect word to express my discontentment or my pain? Why will I write and rewrite the same sentence with the same sentiment over and over?

I supposed I'm more concerned with what you think than I'm aware of. I want to make you think highly of me, but I also want to not care what you think.

Double edged sword, that. This whole blogging thing is quite the obnoxious cultural phenomenon.

Labels: Insight.

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Saturday, December 16, 2006.