When I walk outside, I can immediately smell it in the air. That intangible smell of spring that lingers in the atmosphere, particles that whisper promises in my ear as I try to make it through the last remaining vestiges of my winter life. I don't truly settle into the new cycle of life until after daylight savings time (which, remember, is April 2nd this year!), so these last few days are always filled with stress and rushing around. I'm not pagan any longer, but I still feel the pull of the seasons as strongly as I did back then. To ignore them would be psychic death to me, so I work with my body and nature and do what feels genetic to me.

Mainly, I'm trying to wrap up loose ends and enter the spring clearly and knowing where I stand. My cyst is refusing to budge (although it is a bit smaller), so the new season will probably see me facing down medical challenges and trying to be strong. My daughter is also suffering through a dental problem, so I have to be a good patient as well as a good mother to teach her that dentists and doctors are not people to be afraid of (even though I'm TERRIFIED of them). We're moving soon, and getting married, so I need to start seeing those are positive forces in my life instead of stressors that complicate and change things. I can't wait to get married and move away with him. I need to calm down.

I'll probably be posting more. Get ready for it. I still need to write about how Bear broke me with his wonderful cock this weekend. I literally heard a popping noise and saw stars. But, really, did I need my cervix? *grin*

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Monday, March 27, 2006.