A few weeks ago, I re-established an account on Collar Me. There were profiles I wanted to view, forums I wanted to chat on, friends I wanted to make. I viewed it a few times, made a profile, then forgot about it until another friend of mine started an account on it yesterday. I mentioned it to Bear, gave him the link, and hard feelings and an argument ensued. I feel horrible for it, not because I started this account to find people to fuck or to cheat on him, but because something I did out of innocence and boredom came back to hurt his feelings and make him re-evaluate his relationship with me.

For some reason, our relationship is based entirely on incidents. Neither one of us is able to or capable of looking at the whole picture - it's always fine for the majority of the time until a single incident pulls the dress up on us. We can't look at this as water off a duck's back, it feels like so much more. He's hurt, I'm terrified. One incident, one misunderstanding, and he feels ready to call it off again while I cry myself to sleep. Why can't we see the bigger picture? Why can't we love each other enough to let little things go?

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Tuesday, December 06, 2005.