The days ebb and flow quickly around here. The day ends much too quickly for my liking, with the sun setting around 6:30 PM and bathing me in total darkness by 7. My mood follows that pattern, becoming darker and darker with each passing day. It's the natural cycle of the seasons and it's the natural cycle of my mind.

I'm very at peace right now though. For the moment, everything seems ok. My relationship, although in definite need of a tune up, is the most stable it's been in a few weeks. My sexual relationship with him is definitely back on track. My mind is clear; I'm seeing things that I need to tweak about myself that I would have never seen a few weeks ago. My relationship with my daughter is great, my house is getting cleaner by the day, school is going well.

I'm grateful for all these things and yet I still crave more. A better relationship with Bear, a better relationship with myself. More trust, more honesty, more intimacy. I know it will come, I'm calm in the knowledge that everything must take time. It's a first for me. ;)

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Tuesday, October 18, 2005.