I dyed my hair again last weekend, for the second time after nearly two years of not touching it at all. I feel almost defeated at this point, running a brush through my hair as I contemplate cutting it all off again. I'm weak. My desire to change myself on the inside always leads to these physical manifestations. I dye, I cut, I style... but nothing ever changes. I still feel the same way - indecisive, lacking of any personality to speak of, feeling this sort of dull ache when I think about the way things should be.

I'm debating cutting it off, like I said. Not because I necessarily like it short, but because I need a major change to jumpstart a better lifestyle. I need to do something, just to get it over with. I need to grow up, I need to stop changing the color of my hair to suit my mood. My hair is the color it should be... I can't change who I am. I need to stop trying. Maybe next time you see me I'll be sporting a Layla cut. ;) Who knows!

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Wednesday, July 27, 2005.