I've been detoxing for about twelve hours now and it's having some rather unintended side effects...it's making me increasingly turned on.

Fruit is just so unbelievably erotic! The look, the smell, the taste...biting into a bright red, slippery, sweet strawberry can send me into a refrain of nearly orgasmic glee. As my tongue sweeps the remainder of a tangy chunk of pineapple from the left side of my mouth, I can almost feel my taste buds standing up in a phallic salute. Dining has never been this much of an ordeal for me.

It was a long day at work, but that's one day down and only four more to go this week. Seems like I'm only living for the weekend these days. Our lives are caught up in the hustle and bustle that is the work week, leaving us with little to no time for each other. Conversations are short, at best, making me wish for a little more time and a little more energy. I'm tired of being alone here. Tired of coming home to an empty apartment, dreading going to sleep alone. It's all in the guise of "working on things" before making that next step, but what we are actually working on sometimes mystifies me. I'm turning into a bitter old woman, angry at people who are happy, waiting for an event that may never come. I've almost resolved myself to living alone for the rest of my life. I'm almost ok with that, and that scares me.

The weekends are lovely, but they hold me over far less these days. I can't go two weeks without seeing him, and I don't want to. I've never been one for long distance relationships, and this seems the case even though we live five minutes away from each other. Five minutes has never seemed like forever before.

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Monday, July 25, 2005.