"Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon."
- Susan Ertz

Today was the first day of summer. As I was sitting outside Baskin Robbins eating ice cream with my daughter, it hit me. As we were watching brownish grey bunnies bound around in our backyard, it really hit me. This is summer. This is the time of the year to be a little less responsible, a little less hard on yourself, a little less... well, just a little less of everything.

So I took a long weekend off work next month. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I have some ideas. Getting out of town seems to be one of the highlights. Just getting away from it all. Enjoying the heat, enjoying the humidity, enjoying the carefree nature of summer.

I've been too hard on myself for a long time now. I beat myself up with nearly everything. He's mentioned it to me a few times, in passing, about how I seem to need to be perfect with everything or risk freaking out. It's true, unfortunately. I'm not sure why it's true, but the fact remains. I'm a perfectionist. It drives me crazy to screw up, to not do everything just right. And I need to work on that.

On a completely related note, I'm working on drafting a contract between him and I. Something a little bit more formal. We're going to try this submission thing again from the beginning. I'm going to get a bit more literary about it - reading a few books and acknowledging that I don't know everything (even about how my own mind works sometimes). We're going to start from scratch. And I'm excited. :)

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Tuesday, June 21, 2005.