Love and... what now?
"Mawwiage... mawwiage is what bwings us togewwa today."
Wow, that's the second time I've quoted the Princess Bride in my journal. Sweet. :)
That survey really got me thinking about mawwiage. Ahem, marriage. As someone who identifies (when I'm forced to identify. I'm starting to see gender roles and stereotypes as a form of mind control) as bisexual, marriage really flips my bad triggers. The thought that I'm freely able to marry my boyfriend (fuck, we could do it at a drive through in Las Vegas with no notice!), but was completely unable to legally commit to any of my girlfriends makes me a little frustrated.
Does anyone actually agree with the ban on homosexual marriage? Is the love that a man and a man feel (or a woman and a woman) any different or less truthful than that of a man and a woman?
But that leads to another question... why do people really feel the need to get married in the first place? Is it soley for the legal/monetary benefit? Or is there really a switch that gets flipped after the act, committing two people even more deeply than they were before? In an age where divorce is likely to happen in over a quarter of marriages, why even bother?
These are all unanswerable questions. Anything I could say now would sound defensive. I try to be the least judgmental person in the world. With very few exceptions (anything involving non-consent and/or children), anything anyone does is absolutely none of my business. I want the government out of my bedroom, out of my body and away from my personal liberties. If I wanted to marry a chick topless while carrying a Springfield 1911 and chugging a pint of Guinness (not the safest idea in the world, mind you), I should be allowed to do it.
Do I want to get married? Yes. Why? Honestly, I don't fucking know. Maybe it's partly fear of losing him, insecurity. He's also said to me that he doesn't want to live together again if we're not married... but why? Would we be less likely to get divorced than to break up? Sure, it's a little more legally messy... but if we're doomed to failure, does it really matter if there's a ring and a paper or not?
I'm really playing devil's advocate here. I do want to marry him, I do want the piece of paper. I don't know if I'll change my last name (I went to all the trouble of changing it back the last time!), but I want to look into his eyes and pledge my love to him. I guess the drive to marriage is a built in thing in our culture, just like the drive to monogamy (which, I should point out, is wholly unnatural!). People generally want to have a spouse, kids, house with a white picket fence, dog, good job. It's in our DNA. Maybe I'm too introspective, maybe I question too much.
How many of you want to get married? Why?
Wow, that's the second time I've quoted the Princess Bride in my journal. Sweet. :)
That survey really got me thinking about mawwiage. Ahem, marriage. As someone who identifies (when I'm forced to identify. I'm starting to see gender roles and stereotypes as a form of mind control) as bisexual, marriage really flips my bad triggers. The thought that I'm freely able to marry my boyfriend (fuck, we could do it at a drive through in Las Vegas with no notice!), but was completely unable to legally commit to any of my girlfriends makes me a little frustrated.
Does anyone actually agree with the ban on homosexual marriage? Is the love that a man and a man feel (or a woman and a woman) any different or less truthful than that of a man and a woman?
But that leads to another question... why do people really feel the need to get married in the first place? Is it soley for the legal/monetary benefit? Or is there really a switch that gets flipped after the act, committing two people even more deeply than they were before? In an age where divorce is likely to happen in over a quarter of marriages, why even bother?
These are all unanswerable questions. Anything I could say now would sound defensive. I try to be the least judgmental person in the world. With very few exceptions (anything involving non-consent and/or children), anything anyone does is absolutely none of my business. I want the government out of my bedroom, out of my body and away from my personal liberties. If I wanted to marry a chick topless while carrying a Springfield 1911 and chugging a pint of Guinness (not the safest idea in the world, mind you), I should be allowed to do it.
Do I want to get married? Yes. Why? Honestly, I don't fucking know. Maybe it's partly fear of losing him, insecurity. He's also said to me that he doesn't want to live together again if we're not married... but why? Would we be less likely to get divorced than to break up? Sure, it's a little more legally messy... but if we're doomed to failure, does it really matter if there's a ring and a paper or not?
I'm really playing devil's advocate here. I do want to marry him, I do want the piece of paper. I don't know if I'll change my last name (I went to all the trouble of changing it back the last time!), but I want to look into his eyes and pledge my love to him. I guess the drive to marriage is a built in thing in our culture, just like the drive to monogamy (which, I should point out, is wholly unnatural!). People generally want to have a spouse, kids, house with a white picket fence, dog, good job. It's in our DNA. Maybe I'm too introspective, maybe I question too much.
How many of you want to get married? Why?
This entry was posted by Mellie, on
Wednesday, June 15, 2005.
