Evening meditation.
My body is glistening with sweat after another successful hour of Yoga practice. I love this time of the day; it's the time I feel best. I'm worn out yet full of energy, which is the most delightful of oxymorons.
I've been feeling odd lately, but luckily my (ahem) cycle of girly-ness is almost over. I can't stand feeling so out of sorts, so much like the world itself is out to get me. My own hormones betray me, making me horrible to those I love the most. It's almost as though my mitochondria is screaming out through my skin, telling me that I'm not loved and pulling puppet strings to make my tears flow and my body tense. If you think I'm being overly dramatic, ask the people close to me. They'll tell you that doesn't even come close to describing it.
It's a new month and a new time to detox. I'm settling into my daily vegan meals - preparing food without dairy products, eggs and meat is refreshing. They usually don't take a lot of prep, they're extremely fulfilling and I feel great afterwards (both physically and morally).
I took a walk with my daughter this evening. We looked at puppies, leaves, dirt piles, ants. I taught her that she really can do things all by herself, even if it takes a little longer. Most girls are taught that they're pretty but reliant on other people. Not my daughter. She's a tough cookie. She's a girly girl, but she knows that she can be independent too. I'm so happy that I was blessed with her, even if I only get to see her a few hours every evening these days.
I haven't been thinking about sex these days, mostly because I'm never around him besides our two weekends a month. You would never guess we live five minutes away from each other based on the frequency of our physical relationship. I'm missing him a lot lately, just the mundane stuff. As much as I like living alone and am learning to cherish my freedom, I miss domestic life. I miss waking up next to him. I miss sitting down and eating dinners together. I miss crawling onto his lap and annoying him while he tried to type. I miss standing at the door to his office in the middle of the night, naked, pleading with him to come to bed because I missed his warmth beside me. Little things like that you can never replace. I wouldn't want to, not for a million dollars.
I've been feeling odd lately, but luckily my (ahem) cycle of girly-ness is almost over. I can't stand feeling so out of sorts, so much like the world itself is out to get me. My own hormones betray me, making me horrible to those I love the most. It's almost as though my mitochondria is screaming out through my skin, telling me that I'm not loved and pulling puppet strings to make my tears flow and my body tense. If you think I'm being overly dramatic, ask the people close to me. They'll tell you that doesn't even come close to describing it.
It's a new month and a new time to detox. I'm settling into my daily vegan meals - preparing food without dairy products, eggs and meat is refreshing. They usually don't take a lot of prep, they're extremely fulfilling and I feel great afterwards (both physically and morally).
I took a walk with my daughter this evening. We looked at puppies, leaves, dirt piles, ants. I taught her that she really can do things all by herself, even if it takes a little longer. Most girls are taught that they're pretty but reliant on other people. Not my daughter. She's a tough cookie. She's a girly girl, but she knows that she can be independent too. I'm so happy that I was blessed with her, even if I only get to see her a few hours every evening these days.
I haven't been thinking about sex these days, mostly because I'm never around him besides our two weekends a month. You would never guess we live five minutes away from each other based on the frequency of our physical relationship. I'm missing him a lot lately, just the mundane stuff. As much as I like living alone and am learning to cherish my freedom, I miss domestic life. I miss waking up next to him. I miss sitting down and eating dinners together. I miss crawling onto his lap and annoying him while he tried to type. I miss standing at the door to his office in the middle of the night, naked, pleading with him to come to bed because I missed his warmth beside me. Little things like that you can never replace. I wouldn't want to, not for a million dollars.
This entry was posted by Mellie, on
Wednesday, June 01, 2005.
