I've officially shaved again. I made it a whole two weeks, I believe. :) I'm just meant to have a bald pussy, I guess. Even under my pink robe, I feel like sex. It screams out to me "touch me, lick me, fuck me." Although he doesn't seem to mind, I feel like this is something I do that benefits the both of us.

I'm getting ready to come. I had crawled into bed last night, wearing sweat pants and an old Dropkick Murphys t-shirt; my recently licked fingers were trailing down my stomach. As soon as I made contact with my clit, the phone rang. I knew who it was, although I wasn't expecting his call. Like a good girl, I told him what I was doing. He replied, "You can wait until sunrise tomorrow."

I complied, but not without first making sure that was a direct order and not a smartass comment. It startles me how easily I listen to him, without usually having to be corrected. I could fuck myself all day long, he would never know, but I don't. I crave his praise and acceptance, even when I could get it simply by lying to him. I've never been submissive before (minus the rape fantasies I've had since I was 10, of course), but with him it flows so naturally. I've found that I have sexual fantasies about being submissive with other men too, as if he has opened the door to something I was denying for a long time. All I know is that I need this. It's an important part of my life now, this being down on my knees.

So I'm going to go. It's been a few days since I've been allowed to come and I'm definitely going to relish this one. I'll probably post again later (gasp! two posts in a day!)

This entry was posted by Mellie, on Tuesday, June 07, 2005.